you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize