You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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