We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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