Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
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No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
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Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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