I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize