mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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