Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize