she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
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I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
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Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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