Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize