You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
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the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
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I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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