dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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