oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize