Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He did a backflip because drugs
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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