I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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