About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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