I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize