I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize