i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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