i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize