it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize