I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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