; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize