just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize