The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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