What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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