You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It's never too late to be topless.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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