Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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