Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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