Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Randomize