yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My dick has a subreddit
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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