My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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