First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize