Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize