He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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