I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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