I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
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she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
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I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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