My cat gives me a boner
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize