Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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