exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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