Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
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i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
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Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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