I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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