Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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