I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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