i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize