I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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