dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
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your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
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Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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