I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
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Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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