I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We are all done wearing pants today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize