I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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