Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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